But….You’re Female

Posted: February 2, 2010 in Life
Tags: ,

There are a few things that irritate me when I tell people things about myself.  Whenever a person asks how long Grendal and I have been together (it’s going on 6 years now) their first response is  “When are you going to get married?”  It’s usually those of my same gender that ask this but there is the rare guy that wonders.  Seriously, though, where is it said and set in stone that once you hit a certain year mark or time frame with your other that you need to tie the knot?  I do want to get married and Grendal has agreed that once we both finish college we can start thinking about taking that final leap, and it’s because of me.  I know that sounds bad but it really is because I want a wedding.  Grendal asked me this question roughly a year ago: “What will change with marriage?”  Thinking about it, nothing.  My love for him won’t be any different, I won’t think of him differently, and everything will be the same, except with a new bauble added to my finger.  I do agree with him; we don’t need to be married.  We have our love, it won’t change.  Sure you get a tax break but, seriously, the only difference about it will be a piece of paper.

The other thing that irks me is when I utter this phrase: “I don’t want kids.”  Again it’s my usually my own gender that will be shocked and ask me why or even tell me that I’ll change my mind when I have one.  No!  Having one by accident won’t make me want it, it will make me want to give it away.  Grendal and I don’t want kids.  He finds them repulsive(he feels physically ill around anything younger then a 5 year old) and a waste, and I find them annoying and smelly.  I know it’s horrible reasons but neither of us enjoy children.  After a certain age(for me it’s potty training, for Grendal it’s around 6ish), yes we like them but we can only handle them in short bursts.  We’re not prepared for a child either.  I am way too selfish(sounds bad, but I’ll explain), I can’t tolerate children crying, I don’t want to go through 9 months of hellish pregnancy, and I refuse to change diapers.  Grendal won’t touch them, ’nuff said.  Grendal and I are selfish, like I said, and it’s because we don’t want to give up our dreams because we reproduce by accident.  We don’t want to let go of the small social life that we have and we both have seen the love a couple has for each other wane and become focused on the child(not always true but it happens more often then naught).

Grendal and I both understand that there is the possibility for our opinions to change about the whole child thing, but right now it isn’t happening.  We both have been saying we don’t one for years and our moods haven’t changed.  Parenthood just isn’t for us.  Grendal wants to have a vasectomy, that’s how much he despises the idea of having a child.  Me?  I’m of the opinion that the world is crappy right now and I don’t want to bring a child in to it.  That and there are so many children out there that need a better life!  We’ve talked about adoption and we both like that idea, if we want children and he’s already has the surgery.  This doesn’t mean that neither of us have that paternal instinct; we don’t like to see children neglected or hurt….we just don’t want any of our own.

If not, we always have that farm filled with animals that we can give our love to!  And if anyone dares utter anything along the line of “You won’t know what true love is until you have the love of your child,” a pox upon you!  I have the love a wonderful man and the undying love of my pets.  A child can hate you and be ungrateful for all that you’ve done to them, but your pet will always love you because you are there and making sure it’s fed and safe.  Yes an animal can hate but if you make sure that it’s happy, then all is well……you try and make sure a child is happy, they’ll find a way to be upset with you……I know, I did it with my own parents. 😉

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